11 Jul People Pleasing and how to free yourself from it
Today is day 11 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge!! Almost half way! through it! Today’s post is about people who would rather die than disappoint. I was a victim of this dreaded social disease and if you see yourself in the story, please join me in recovery. lol
I’ve always enjoyed helping others in whatever way that I could. I think in some ways, I felt that my life became more enriched for it. It made me feel as if I were contributing something of substance; of value to those in need. For the most part, I think anyone would be happy to do the same, but invariably, there will be someone who comes along to take advantage of said kindness.
Usually, it’s not difficult to put these people in check unless you suffer from the ‘disease to please’ like I did. Southern born and bred, I was raised to be mannerable and polite so denying someone assistance is my mind, countered that convention.
Luckily, everyone has their breaking point. The choice you’ll have to make is to continue to live your life as that broken vessel to be used at will by the selfishness of others. Or you can choose to stand your ground and discover the pleasures of liberally using the word, “NO.”
“I can only please one person per day – today is not your day and tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
There is nothing wrong with insisting that others respect your time and refusing to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. The main reason why I tolerated such foolishness is that I didn’t want to disappoint or make someone so mad that they wouldn’t like me anymore. The opinion of folks who obviously didn’t respect me and probably wouldn’t spit on me if I were on fire, carried a lot of weight. I had to ask myself why that was the case?
Life is a learning process. Once you figure out that you are doing things to curry favor with others instead of out of the goodness of your heart, you have to take a step back. You have to let go of the need to be accepted by every living creature. It’s just not going to happen and you have to be OK with that. The world won’t stop spinning on its axis if someone decides to shut you out of their life. In fact, it may be one of the best things that could ever happen to you. Count your blessings and move on because believe me, they have.