Acceptance

Acceptance – The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants

What a familiar refrain, it’s romantic and decisive; but what if it didn’t matter? What if some things are simply out of your reach no matter how much you desire it? I’m the biggest proponent of going out into the world to fight for what you want, but there are times when fighting, no matter how valiant, is useless.

I was gently reminded of that fact on the eve of my birthday earlier this week; that just because an opportunity presents itself doesn’t mean that it will end favorably. Realizing that fact is probably the most pertinent; otherwise, you will allow yourself to drift into a state of delusion.

“Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”
– Khalil Gibran

desolate-forest
To be denied something as simple as an answer to a long-held question can knock the wind out of you; leaving you confused and stunned and asking why? It can cause you to turn inward and start inventing shortcomings and doubts about the one person that you should know best…..yourself.

The truth of the matter is that whenever another person is added to the equation, things become more complex. Neither personal stamina nor perseverance can be the determining factor as to whether or not you can resolve an issue. There is another person or cosmic event out of your control that has to be factored in, thereby limiting your ability to resolve the issue on your own.

So, how do you (fully acknowledging this terrible gut-punch) move on in spite of it? First, you must accept the fact that you can’t and shouldn’t control the actions of others. You have to respect the fact that everyone has free-will and the right to exercise it. No one is promised a happy ending or closure. It would be nice to have, but ultimately, we don’t get a say in whether it happens or not.

“When there is no wind … ROW!”
– Latin Proverb

I do believe that everything has a season and a reason. Sometimes, we will never totally understand the why’s of our lives, but they exist to serve a higher purpose. I believe that purpose takes the form of lessons that must be heeded to. However, one must be open to learning those lessons and to resist countering them because it does little for the soul except to cause more pain.

A few weeks ago, I posted my top 5 favorite poems. Among them was “After Awhile” by Veronica Shoffstall and I think it’s more than apropos here:

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts,
and present’s aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead…

With the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.

And you learn
To build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much…

So, you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul…
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…
you really are strong,
you really do have worth.

And you learn, and you learn…
with every goodbye,

You Learn…

Realize that just because someone denies you the privilege of knowing “why?” doesn’t mean that life stops in its tracks. You will now need to write an alternative ending to that story; the one that ends in a different reality. You have not been diminished in any way. Dust yourself off and move on because, in the end, you will have no other choice. Your heart will ache, but it hasn’t been crushed. One of the inevitabilities of life is to feel rejected, unaccepted and worthless, but those feelings are always temporary. They will go away and you will come through this a wiser, more thoughtful, person.

All is not lost, the only thing missing…….. is what should be.

 

Comments

comments

Renee King
aviewtoathrill@gmail.com
6 Comments
  • David Bennett
    Posted at 16:23h, 30 August Reply

    What a treasure of feelings.

    🙂
    David Bennett recently posted…In Review -Edinburgh Festival 2012My Profile

  • Candice Michelle
    Posted at 23:22h, 11 September Reply

    Incredible article! You really give the reader the ability to think more among your writing , again thanks a lot . You absolutely did a great job in here!
    Candice Michelle recently posted…best tactical gearMy Profile

  • Molly
    Posted at 20:34h, 04 October Reply

    What a thoughtful article and I hope whatever the situation was, it’s moved on to a better place now.
    Molly recently posted…Top Five Tourist Attractions in South AmericaMy Profile

  • Nomadic Translator
    Posted at 11:06h, 09 October Reply

    It’s quite tough to move on when someone leaves you with a bunch of questions and no answers. But like you, a long time ago, I learned that life will always be full of questions I will never have the answers to. Thus, I should simply walk the line (my line!) and enjoy the sights. Great post, great reminder <3

    – Maria Alexandra
    Nomadic Translator recently posted…European Halloween traditions and festivalsMy Profile

  • Nancy Rose
    Posted at 20:25h, 24 October Reply

    Beautifully stated, I could feel the words. A great way of reminding us of what is important and not to loose yourself and to move forward with your dreams and not to be worried about things not turning out as you expected!
    Nancy Rose recently posted…Uncover Your Diamond “Ignite Your Inner Light”My Profile

    • Renee King
      Posted at 19:01h, 28 October Reply

      Thank you, Nancy….it truly is one of those painful lessons in life. I appreciate you stopping by!

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